Operation: Registry

Steve and I weren't going to register at first. We thought that if our family and friends wanted to give us gifts, we'd rather get money to go toward our house down-payment savings. But then we realized two things: a) it's not polite to ask people for money, and not creating a registry would be like asking for money (that, and we could end up with gifts we won't want/need); and b) we actually could use things for our apartment and this is a good opportunity to get some of them.

[Note: There have been discussions in the blog world about registering making the bride and groom appear greedy. I disagree. We registered for things we need, and don't really care how much or little we receive from our guests. Like everyone else, we're happy with our guests simply gifting us with their presence on our wedding day and not giving us material gifts. But the reality is, people like giving wedding presents--like Steve and I did for the three weddings we attended over the summer--and it makes sense to have a registry. People expect and appreciate them. I know I have. If for whatever reason, we don't receive any of these items, we'll end up buying a lot of them ourselves after the wedding, since we need these things. That's all. I just wanted to give my two cents!]

We decided to only register at two stores: Crate and Barrel and Bed, Bath and Beyond. Here's how it went down:

Tuesday December 29, 2009

4:00pm
Crate and Barrel | Soho, NYC

We started by scoping out the Crate and Barrel in downtown Manhattan. Tip: Check out the stores you want to register at, or at least peruse their websites, so you can get an idea of what you want to register for at each store before you start scanning. Once we decided to register, we knew we wanted C&B to be one of our stores. I worked there for two summers and two winter breaks during college, and I just love their merchandise. We already had a mental list of the kinds of things we wanted to register for (dishware, silverware, glasses, serving platters, cookware, etc.) so we checked those sections out and Steve wrote down what we liked on his Blackberry. It was actually fun to think about what our new apartment will look like with the things we hope to have. We both enjoy interior design so picking out stuff for our home is right up our alley. We even went up to the furniture department and daydreamed about being able to afford some of their nicer furniture (and no, we're not registering for expensive furniture!) We left the store with a list of things we wanted to go back and officially register for. Tip: Don't register for seasonal items unless your wedding is a month or so away! At C&B, this means stay away from the colorful items, like aqua vases and flowery plates. These things will probably not be available once the season changes, so you should stick to the glass, porcelain, etc. items that are available year-round. If you don't recognize what's seasonal, talk to a C&B salesperson!

Wednesday December 30, 2009
Approx. 2:00pm
Bed, Bath and Beyond | Upper West Side, NYC

After having lunch with my mom and grandpa on the upper west side, we headed to Bed, Bath and Beyond. This time, since we had already decided what we liked from C&B, we went ahead and got set up with a scanner. The people at BB&B we're really sweet and attentive! Once we had what we needed, we walked around the store and scanned things we liked. If we liked something we had already picked out at C&B, we'd take a minute to compare the two items and decide which one to get (for example, we liked dishware and silverware at C&B, so when we looked at the dishware and silverware at BB&B, we would compare everything to our C&B choices. This is why it's helpful to scope out the stores first.)

By the time we finished walking through the two big BB&B floors a few hours later, we were already tired. But we were excited about what we registered for! Right now, our dishes and silverware are all mismatched. Our cookware really needs to be replaced. It'll be nice to start off our marriage with our home stocked with things we need that we'll use for many years to come!

Wednesday December 30, 2009
Approx. 5:00pm
Crate and Barrel | Upper East Side, NYC
After we left BB&B, we trekked in the freeeezing cold to the subway and transferred over to the Upper West Side C&B. We could have gone back to the Soho store, but this one was more convenient from where we were. Now that it was after-work hours, the place was PACKED. It was a good thing we already knew exactly what we wanted from this store, because I didn't have the energy to stay there too long. We got set up with our scanner (which, FYI, was much easier to use than the BB&B scanner) and went around scanning the things we had written down the previous day, but hadn't bought at BB&B. Based on our choices at both stores, we noticed one common theme: we like items made out of wood. At BB&B we registered for these serving platters:

Umbra Spuntino Chip 'n Dip

Umbra Tasting Serving Bowl Set

At C&B, we found similar wood and porcelain items to match:

Carved Tray

Rectangular Platter

We also took note of some things we want to buy for ourselves when we move into our new apartment in March, like:

Bamboo Bath Accessories

By the time we left C&B, we were seriously pooped. We'd originally planned to see Avatar that night but we were so exhausted, we went straight home and plopped ourselves on our couch. We also looked over our registries online and made some minor changes. Tip: If you aren't sure about an item in the store, you can always add it later online. And, if you add something in the store and decide you don't want it later, you can always erase it later online.

Here are a few other tips:

*Make sure the things you register for go together! Like I said, we noticed we liked porcelain/wood serving platters, so we tried to register for a few items that went with them so everything will look cohesive together when we entertain. If you're registering for plates, silverware and glasses, make sure you like how they look together!

*Check out other people's registries. I searched on theknot.com for registries of other brides I know, just for comparison's sake. You might see something on another bride's registry that you didn't realize you needed (like a ladle, for instance).

*Register for things in a variety of price points. It's not an exact science, and you shouldn't register for things that you don't actually want/need, just because it's cheap or expensive, but you should keep your guests in mind. We really want All-Clad pots and pans, for example, but the 10 piece set is really expensive. We broke the set out into individual items so our guests can buy components of the set, if they want.

*If there is something you and your fiance want that's expensive, register for it anyway! If nobody buys it for you, who cares? But what if there is a family member who really wants to buy a significant gift? It doesn't hurt to put it on there, as long as all of your items aren't insanely expensive. Steve really wants this high-tech humidifier, for example, so we added it on in the off-chance someone decides to buy it for us.

So that's how our registry process went. It was exhausting but fun! We know these are the items we'll want for our home regardless of whether they're gifted to us, or we buy them ourselves, so we enjoyed going around and picking them out. My big piece of advice is to have fun with it! I enjoyed thinking of all the ways we'll use these items, like the dinner parties we'll host as a married couple and the meals we'll eat on our new plates. My mindset is that every aspect of wedding planning should be enjoyable and memorable, and this should be no different. You're planning for the rest of your lives, after all.

One last thing: We're also going to let our guests know that our photographer, Windau Photography, offers gift cards. Any gift cards we receive will go toward paying for our wedding album, which we didn't include in our photography package in order to save money up front. We're simply going to put all of our registry information on our wedding website, along with all of the other information our guests need, so if they decide to give us a gift, they know exactly what we want. Easy enough, and on to the next task!

[p.s. Since this seems to be a controversial topic, please be nice in your comments. Thanks!]